2006 S60 AWD Turbo 2.5T Transmission Problems

I recently bought a 2006 S60 AWD turbo 2.5T, the car has 134K on the clock and is in very good condition (except for this problem), when I first start the car and put it in either D or R it shifts right into gear, when I drive it the transmission shifts through all the gears smoothly with no slipping. The first time I drove the car I thought that there was nothing wrong with it as I had bought it knowing that it had transmission problems. That is until I came to a stop, when I went to proceed it was like it was in neutral, shifting from R to D had no effect, I shut the car off to call my roommate to come and tow me, when I got off the phone I started it and amazingly it shifted right into gear again, I shifted between R and D again and it went into each gear, I didn't drive it this time though and it seemed that after about 1 minute it quit shifting into gear, there is a message on the dash that says something like "Needs serious transmission care" or something similar to that. Ran codes and came back with :8BO1 - 1A61 - 1A62 - DF11 - G000 - 1A5F and 1A59
It seemed that these codes were all electronic based so I bought a new (used off Ebay) computer with zero effect whatsoever, also another thing I noticed was when I start the car the gear indicator lights on the dash would indicate P then whatever gear I shifted to, after about 45 seconds the gear indicator would go out and the transmission wouldn't shift into gear, it would just be like it was shifted into neutral. I'm hoping that someone has had a similar problem and can point me in the right direction, I'm finding out that parts for these cars are kinda spendy and I don't want to just throw money at it hoping the thing will miraculously get fixed. I bought a slightly wrecked 2004 XC 70, was in a following to closely on the freeway accident and the hood - grill - core support - lights and front bumper cover needed replaced. I got the car for $350 and it was just to nice of a car to part out so I have that Volvo also, in a day or so am going to go look at a 2006 XC 70 with a bad motor but a good trans. I'm hoping that I don't have to replace the trans in my S60 but if I do I'm hoping the trans. out of the XC 70 will fit being as they both are same year and AWD and 2.5 Turbo

 

Also how do I go about updating the software in my T.C.M. and my E.C.M.? Can I remove them from the car and take them to the dealership or do they have to be in the car, if thats the case the nearest Volvo dealer is over 50 miles away and I'd have to tow my car there, since Ford has bought out Volvo could I take it to the Ford dealer?