U.K. new MOT testing guidelines.

thought that you folks might be interested in the latest "Guidelines for MOT
testers,2003-2004"

1.Is the customer wearing a lot of expensive shiny jewellery? If so fail
vehicle and land customer with a big repair bill, he can afford it.

2.Is the customer's car a big swanky motor? If so fail it for the fun of
it.

3. Is the customers car dirty? If so fail it because if he can't be
bothered to clean it, why should we be bothered to pass it.

4. Talk to customer and find out what his line of business is, if it is
something you can gain from, don't look to hard for faults.

5.If customer is female and showing lots of cleavage and legs, pass it, it
beats looking a calendar girls all day.

6. If you get a drop of oil on your head while under vehicle, fail it.

7. If the vehicle is exceptionally clean inside and out, the customer
probably loves his car and anything that has gone wrong, or going wrong has
been fixed. Just look busy and pass it, but wipe greasy hands on steering
wheel for the fun of it.

8. If old bloke brings in an ancient old banger, find something wrong as it
is tax exempt and he should have to pay something towards it.

9. If customer arrives near closing time, have a quick tally up of your
takings during the day and refer to the above.

10. If customer is in a suit or well dressed, do the Mot properly, he may
be an official inspector.

11. Is the car a better one than yours? if so fail it.

12. Remember, brakes, tyres, thickness of discs and shocks are a good fail
point and can earn us lots of money.

13. Remember the customer is cr*pping themselves with worry.

 

You missed the bit of

14 Only fail the vehicle on an item which you conveniently just happen
to have in stock

 

Alternatively you could have the system we have in N.Ireland. They just
introduced MOT2.... computerised suspension/brake/emmissions testers, fully
automatic, no operator opinions (mostly), but they are still installing the
equip and only have 1 government controlled test station in a few towns. We
have to wait 3 months for an appointment and they don't do any repairs.

4 year old Mercs and other quality cars are failing it.

You might think it could be a good unbiased system, but N.Ireland, with the
old system there are alot of 'friends' who seem to get dogdgy cars through.
Would have been even worse if they'd allowed garages to do it.

They also don't like dirty cars, oil on the head, and tend to fail anyone
they don't know.

They've also introduce MOT windscreen disks, next it will be insurance disks
etc until you can't see out atall.