I've finally figured out what's wrong with today's Volvo!

[A Diatribe]

Men, hear this. I am not a sexist, but I am a man and by the grace of
testosterone and gear oil, I believe I finally understand.

Volvo -- a Latin term whose meaning is "I Roll"; founded on the name of
a ball-bearing company turned auto legend. Volvo - it's icon the symbol
of Mars, God of war.

Volvo -- a car whose origin spawned into legend after creating a
strong, simple, safe machine whose reputation for protecting it's
passengers evolved into legend. Until one day...

Volvo was the car every man loved to turn a wrench on. We wouldn't be
caught holding hands with one, but women around the world held them
with pride and honor -- like their "man."

Volvo was a what we didn't brag about driving, but we rested soundly
each night our wife, mother or loved one drove home in one. To soccer
practice, to the movies or dinner -- we'd think, "they're boxy, but
they're safe." When caught driving our Volvo - we'd say, "it's mom's
or the wife's car." We hid our machismo, but we were confident we were
safe.

Then one fateful day our God of war was purchased by Ford. Everything
changed. Ford needed sales. Volvo needed sales. Ford needed the
purchasing power of men to boost the bottom line like a man needs the
boost of a turbo to bring him to redline.

Friends, I don't know if what happened next was Volvo becoming a
Metrosexual or a homosexual -- but somewhere along the assembly line
manhood was lost!

Volvos became more like our female counterparts -- complicated, tricky,
incomprehensible. Suddenly raw power and strength became complex
anatomy. The body parts seemed to have a mind of their own.

There were hot flashes, breakdowns, highway menopauses. What once was a
sturdy corpse suddenly became an intricate, delicate, psychological
nightmare.

Men drove their machines to the mechanic doctors. "What's wrong with my
car," we asked. The response, "your car?" Why there's nothing wrong
with your car -- it must be you!"

That's when we knew we'd lost our Volvo.

Our machines became "pretty" and "ergonomical". Studly physique was
exchanged for smoother curves and softer body lines.

Well, men of the world hear me well. Volvo, the ball-bearing ancestor
of us men has lost its balls.

I say, give us back our manly machine that we once understood. Forget
the glitz and glamour, forget the polish and perfume. I want my
machine!

Ford/Volvo -- we may not have bragged about owning or driving you, but
you know when your ball bearings itched we men scratched them! When
your lug nuts were loose we tightened them. When you broke down, you
didn't cry. You were a non-interference engine who simply stopped until
we put another belt around your waist and we drove on!

So, either change the name from Volvo to Avon, or give us back what we
once were proud of.

Jamie

 

So... does Volvo need another symbol? A fleur-de-lis perhaps?

 

but the drive-by-wire S60 was designed before Ford bought in.

p.

 

An encouraging note on old vs. new technology...

Mercedes introduced a "brake by wire" non-hydraulic braking system a
few years ago.

Consensus is: it sucked.

Grabby, can't modulate.

The newest E series dropped it, and reverted back to good old hydraulic
brakes.

 

Hear, Hear! Well said!!

Johan Plane
Uppsala, Sweden

 

Volvos have always been a higher-priced brand (they're not exactly
economy cars) but that was due to build quality, their safety
reputation, and reliablity. Now Ford has ruined the build quality and
reliability of the cars not through "female-ization," though it is a
nice metaphor, but by simple cost-cutting.

Why was the six-cylinder engine introduced when more horsepower could
have been squeezed out of the reliable five? Simple -- this way "Volvo"
engineers can design the engine and slap it into a Ford Freestyle,
allowing Ford to charge more for its own crappy cars. Then, because
five-cylinders aren't mainstream, Ford decides to phase them out of
Volvos and put in all six-cylinders. They've just taken their prize
goose out to the backyard and shot it right there.

Ford also has begun to use cheaper materials in the cars themselves,
introduce new technology that no one really uses (do you REALLY need
parking assistance in a C70 convertible, or a back-up camera on an
S80?), and charge more for cars that are now worth much less.

If you ask me, Volvo might as well be Oldsmobile. I'd go for a nice,
reliable, quality Honda, Acura, Toyota, or Lexus instead now. Volvo
gave up my loyalty when the execs saw dollars instead of people -- and
cashed in.

 

The Volvo 740 is the Buick that GM wishes it could have built.

 

Simple. The five-cylinder motor didn't exist in 1977/78 so there was no
engine to squeeze anything from. Saab had just testing turboengines, but
that was a technique Volvo either didn't master, didn't trust or didn't
think there could be a market for. Oh - yes there was a five-cylinder
engine Volvo used in their 240-series. A diesel built by VW.

Yes you need this techique when you have made a plastic puzzle of rear and
front bumper and use thin crap sheet metal in body and chassis. Praise the
days when the Volvo was a Tank in disguise, with shockabsorbing
rubbercovered bumpers.

Furthermore, then even a low- to middle income family could still afford to
travel safely. Todays Volvo has moved from middle- to upper segment.

Johan

 

"Yes you need this techique when you have made a plastic puzzle of rear
and
front bumper and use thin crap sheet metal in body and chassis. Praise
the
days when the Volvo was a Tank in disguise, with shockabsorbing
rubbercovered bumpers."

its all about weight & miles per gallon now....

 

That was a 6 cylinder inline Diesel, I'm not aware of any Volvo 5's
until the 850 series.

 

"Volvo -- a Latin term whose meaning is "I Roll"; founded on the name
of
a ball-bearing company turned auto legend. Volvo - it's icon the symbol
of Mars, God of war. "

I still go back to ball-bearings. No balls and no bearing is a recipe
for disaster.

F.O.R.D.
Finance Or Refinance Daily

F.O.R.D.
Forgot Our Real Dreams

F.O.R.D.
Failure Of Real Design

etc, etc, etc

 

You're right and I'm wrong. Must have been tired, I even owned one of them
.

Johan

 

Ah, now I've got it. That's why they were built sturdy as Tanks.

I like the ball-bearing thing, since Volvo really was a company (not
operative) owned by SKF.

The F.O.R.D. thingie:
We have them in Sweden too but they would loose in translation. One
survives:
Flunk Or Repair Daily.

Johan Plane
Uppsala Sweden

 

There was a 5 cylinder version of the VW inline 6 diesel used in the 240
in certain, limited markets.

--
Mike F.
Thornhill (near Toronto), Ont.

Replace tt with t (twice!) and remove parentheses to email me directly.
(But I check the newsgroup more often than this email address.)

 

Close, but no cigar.

Yes, Volvo is Latin and means "I roll" since it was named after a
previous ball bearing operation of SKF.

But the Volvo circle-and-arrow trademark was created to represent
strength, taking its graphic shape from the traditional alchemist's
symbol for iron ore. It originally represented the shield and spear of
Mars, but was popularized as the alchemical symbol for iron. Needless
to say it is also an astronomical symbol and gender symbol.

see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alchemical_symbol

 

Just to set the record straight: In the early 1990s Volvo introduced an
entirely new family of modern overhead cam engines to replace the aged
"red-block" family. This new family is often called the "white-block"
engines by Volvo enthusiasts as the blocks are plain cast aluminium.

This new family of engines shares many common components and features
while being made in 4, 5 and 6 cylinder in-line versions. The 6 was
introduced in the 960, the 5 in the 850 and I believe the 4 was first
used in the S40. There are also two valve per cylinder and four valve
per cylinder versions of at least the 5 cylinder and perhaps others as
well. Turbocharging is also an optional feature.

Many parts are interchangeable between the various family members.

I don't believe any Ford branded vehicles have ever used any of these
designs, but Volvo continues to use updated versions of the 5 and 6.

I'm not as sure about the 4 cylinder variations as they were not big in
the US. Now that the S40 is Ford Focus based perhaps it is using Ford
base engine designs, I really do not know.

The latest twist in the engine story is the V-8 introduced as an option
for the XC90. This is actually a Yamaha produced motor and is an
outgrowth of the Ford/Yamaha deal which once produced the engines for
the Taurus SHO. I think Ford is also now considering selective use of
this engine in other vehicles. Ford's V-8 product line consists of a
home-grown series (Modular V-8), a Jaguar designed variation also used
in the Lincoln LS and this Yamaha/Ford/Volvo beast. Sort of convoluted,
and a situation which will probably be simplified as part of Ford's new
"strategic realignment", aka Way Forward 2.0.

John

 

That was a VW/Audi unit Volvo purchased from them.

John

 

Am Wed, 02 Aug 2006 21:12:26 GMT schrieb John Horner:

The 850 had the Audi 5 cylinder TDI (an inline-design) with 140hp in the
90s until Volvo developped its own 5 cylinder (a joint design between
Volvo and Porsche) as Diesel. The current Diesel-engines are an
offspring of the gasoline version and are sold as 163hp and 185hp
versions in Europe (I don't know about other regions).

Joerg

 

Lost their rocks, eh? Have you driven the new V8? Heh....